


Here Without You

by IceQueenofMitera



Series: Dragon Age One Shots [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Regret, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:37:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5759734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceQueenofMitera/pseuds/IceQueenofMitera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Dark Ritual wasn't preformed?</p><p>What if Realin killed the Archdemon and made the Ultimate sacrifice?</p><p>How would Alistair cope knowing he'd lost the woman he loved forever?</p><p> </p><p>A Daughters of Thedas One Shot</p><p>I unfortunatly do not own Dragon Age. It belongs to Bioware/EA</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Without You

I didn’t want to be presented with another noble as an option to become my queen. There was only one woman I wanted as my queen. But I had foolishly let her go. I had pushed her away. I was probably the reason that she’d refused to take Morrigan’s offer. I’d found out about it later. No doubt she’d refused because of me. And now I’d lost her forever. The love of my life was dead. And I couldn’t look at another woman without seeing her beautiful emerald eyes, her bright smile, the way her braids framed her face, the tattoo that I’d traced a hundred times.

 

_A hundred days have made me older_

_Since the last time that I saw your pretty face_

_A thousand lies have made me colder_

_And I don't think I can look at this the same_

_But all the miles that separate_

_Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

 

I sat on the bed, my head in my hands. I blamed myself every day since the Battle of Denerim for her death. Every day since her funeral. Would she have still made that same decision had I not pushed her away? Would she still be alive if I hadn’t told her that we couldn’t be together because she’d made me king? She haunted my mind, my memory.

 

_I'm here without you, baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you, baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you, baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight it's only you and me_

 

Duty demanded I find a wife to bear me an heir. But I didn’t want just any woman that Eamon saw fit to parade in front of me. But I couldn’t see myself with anyone else. I only wanted her. The smiles were nothing like hers. No one had eyes like her. I tuned Eamon out as he droned on about my duty. How could I go on with my duty when my heart lay in pieces?

 

_The miles just keep rollin'_

_As the people leave their way to say hello_

_I've heard this life is overrated_

_But I hope that it gets better as we go_

 

I kept both of her pendants. They hung on the mirror of the vanity. The one I’d had made especially for her was now in my hand. The green stone had reminded me of her eyes. I ran my fingers over the gold inlayed tree on the front. A tribute to her people and all the sacrifices she’d made. Her losses. Her love. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I wrapped my fingers around Wardens’ Oath, the pendent that all Wardens wore to remind them of those we’d lost. Why did I do what I’d done?

 

_I'm here without you, baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you, baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you, baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight, girl, its only you and me_

 

Teagan saved my life and my sanity. He’d seen how much it hurt to have the nobles’ daughters paraded before me between official state visits. He knew about my forays into the taverns and inns. He’d joined me a few times. Turned out her death had hit him just as hard. He’d respected her. Respected her skill. He didn’t care what her origins had been. He knew I couldn’t move on.

 

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_

_And when the last one falls_

_When it's all said and done_

_It gets hard but it wont take away my love_

 

I looked up at my reflection for the first time in months. I didn’t look like a king. I looked like a heart broken man. Teagan’s words to me on one of our forays had made me think. I will always love her. And she would always be in my heart. Teagan had taken Eamon’s place as my advisor. I was slowly moving on. I was thankful that he’d stopped the constant parade of women. He knew my heart needed time to heal, even if I didn’t exactly have a lot of time. I wrapped my hand around her pendent. Even if I didn’t have her at my side. She was still with me in my dreams. And we would be together forever there.

 

_I'm here without you, baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you, baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you, baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight, girl, its only you and me_


End file.
